Done Lists: Like a To-Do List in Reverse

12 August 2008 | Miscellany | 54 Comments

Sometimes making lists at the beginning of a day is good because it helps me stay “organized.” This is different from being “organizized,” a variety of organizedness broadcast by terminally frazzled people (hence, in my theory at least, the extra z). These are the same people who, when you ask how they are, respond “I’m not sure, this is only my third cup of coffee.” Or they may say, “Grunt. Coffee. Then answer.” Either way, FUCKING HILARIOUS. They also have an heavily-Xeroxed piece of paper somewhere near their workspace that says in an all-cap serif font (or possibly Comic Sans) “I CAN ONLY HELP ONE PERSON A DAY. I’M SORRY, YOU ARE NOT THAT PERSON.” I would like all of those people to be carried away by giant prehistoric birds who somehow became trapped in amber and were re-awakened in present day with a hunger for the flesh of people who are organizized. However, I still sometimes like to-do lists. But even more than that, I like done lists. These are the lists that make your day feel fuller. Usually, you’ll get home from wherever you spent your day and your spouse/partner/RealDoll will say “how was work?” And you’ll likely say, “nothing.” Or “Maloney was a class-A prick today.” Or “Jenkins asked me if I had the report ready for him, and thanks to a recent switch to Right Guard Clinical Protection, that report was nestled comfortably in my titanium briefcase, and for once not suffocating under the four extra blue shirts I have to bring to work every day as backups for when I sweat through the original blue shirt as an inevitable result of the pressure-cooker job I have that does nothing to help my profuse sweating problem.” But more than likely, it’ll be a variation on “nothing.” See, this is why you need a done list. Let’s say you were me. And you’re still at work, but when you do get home, one of your wives will say, “how was work?” And you’ll look at the done list, and you’ll regale her with all the wonderful and dynamic things you did at work. Here’s mine.

1. Drank coffee named after an “eclectic community whose character is defined by hip cafes, neighborhood restaurants and tree-lined streets filled with Victorian brownstones, townhouses and young middle-class couples pushing double-wide baby strollers.” Gross. The coffee itself is great, though.
2. Wrote a rap verse from the perspective of an angry Tera Patrick1
3. Ate a burrito, which was not entirely satisfying thanks to a distinct laziness on the part of the guy who made the burrito. Instead of a pleasing consistent stratification, I was met with discrete pocket of unmelted cheese, as well as one of cold salsa, both of which compromised the Taste Quotient (as standardized by scienticians) of the burrito.

4. Ate some delicious Welch’s Fruit Snacks (Raspberry and White Grape variety)
5. Had a filthy pun contests. Had many filthy pun contests.
6. Fleetingly wondered what it’s like to write a “sales report.”

1 While I’m not entirely proud of this, I am in the lead against my dude Justin Monroe, who wrote one from the perspective of an angry Jenna Jameson. Check it out.Warning: there is some mighty tart language involved.

54 Comments

  1. ROY said on 29 Jul 2011 at 2:05 pm:

    Buy@Discount.Abilify” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buywithout prescription…

  2. EDUARDO said on 29 Jul 2011 at 2:30 pm:

    Order@Abilify.Online” rel=”nofollow”>.

    Buynow it…

  3. TERRENCE said on 29 Jul 2011 at 4:31 pm:

    Purchase@Discount.Abilify” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buyit now…

  4. TRACY said on 30 Jul 2011 at 12:27 pm:

    Order@Discount.Acai” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buywithout prescription…

  5. WALLACE said on 31 Jul 2011 at 6:08 am:

    Purchase@Generic.Acai” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buygeneric drugs…

  6. SALVADOR said on 31 Jul 2011 at 10:59 am:

    Cheap@Acai.Without.Prescription” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buygeneric meds…

  7. DUSTIN said on 31 Jul 2011 at 11:21 am:

    Cheap@Acai.500mg” rel=”nofollow”>..…

    Buygeneric drugs…

  8. BRANDON said on 1 Aug 2011 at 6:25 am:

    Buy@Cheap.Abana” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buyno prescription…

  9. FRANKLIN said on 2 Aug 2011 at 3:15 am:

    Buy@Discount.Coral.Calcium” rel=”nofollow”>.

    Buygeneric meds…

  10. EDUARDO said on 3 Aug 2011 at 12:43 am:

    Buy@Discount.Abilify” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buygeneric pills…

  11. PERRY said on 3 Aug 2011 at 11:04 am:

    Buy@Abilify.5mg.10mg.15mg.20mg.30mg” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buywithout prescription…

  12. KIRK said on 3 Aug 2011 at 6:21 pm:

    Buy@Discount.Acai” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buynow…

  13. RICARDO said on 3 Aug 2011 at 7:26 pm:

    Order@Acai.Online” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buydrugs without prescription…

  14. LESLIE said on 5 Aug 2011 at 1:14 am:

    Generic@Acai.500mg.Without.Prescription” rel=”nofollow”>.…

    Buyno prescription…

  15. BILLY said on 7 Aug 2011 at 1:54 am:

    .

    Buygeneric drugs…

  16. RICARDO said on 8 Aug 2011 at 3:14 pm:

    Buy@Aciphex.20mg” rel=”nofollow”>.…

    Buygeneric drugs…

  17. BRUCE said on 8 Aug 2011 at 6:24 pm:

    Cheap@Generic.Aciphex.20mg” rel=”nofollow”>.…

    Buygeneric drugs…

  18. CLIFTON said on 11 Aug 2011 at 8:31 am:

    Purchase@Actos.Online” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buygeneric meds qmo…

  19. JEREMIAH said on 13 Aug 2011 at 1:08 am:

    Buy@Abana.Online” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buynow it tly…

  20. MITCHELL said on 14 Aug 2011 at 7:29 pm:

    Purchase@Generic.Acai” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buydrugs without prescription faj…

  21. BRETT said on 17 Aug 2011 at 5:02 pm:

    Cheap@Accutane.Without.Prescription” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buydrugs without prescription jlg…

  22. BRYAN said on 18 Aug 2011 at 1:42 pm:

    Get@Aciphex.Online” rel=”nofollow”>.

    Buygeneric drugs nih…

  23. EVAN said on 18 Aug 2011 at 9:36 pm:

    Purchase@Generic.Aciphex” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buydrugs without prescription ygy…

  24. LOUIS said on 21 Aug 2011 at 1:47 pm:

    Order@Actonel.Online” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buynow fjl…

  25. ZACHARY said on 22 Aug 2011 at 11:08 am:

    Buy@Cheap.Advair” rel=”nofollow”>.

    Buygeneric drugs axm…

  26. JOEL said on 24 Aug 2011 at 8:03 pm:

    Buy@Discount.Aggrenox” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buyno prescription wkp…

  27. NICK said on 25 Aug 2011 at 12:04 am:

    Order@Discount.Aggrenox” rel=”nofollow”>..

    Buyno prescription lka…

  28. JASON said on 25 Aug 2011 at 2:44 am:

    Purchase@Cheap.Aggrenox” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buywithout prescription ccw…

  29. ENRIQUE said on 26 Aug 2011 at 6:30 am:

    coral@calcium.vitamin.explanation” rel=”nofollow”>.

    Buywithout prescription…

  30. JOSE said on 27 Aug 2011 at 7:48 am:

    aleve@cold.tablets” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buygeneric pills…

  31. RUBEN said on 28 Aug 2011 at 12:59 am:

    coral@calcium.supplements” rel=”nofollow”>…

    Buygeneric meds…

  32. TYLER said on 17 Oct 2011 at 5:07 pm:

    stage 3 ovarian cancer

    Buy_drugs without prescription…

  33. FREDDIE said on 18 Oct 2011 at 9:03 pm:

    the process of methanogens metabolism

    Buy_drugs without prescription…

  34. PEDRO said on 22 Oct 2011 at 3:36 am:

    ept pregnancy test

    Buy_generic meds…

  35. DERRICK said on 23 Oct 2011 at 10:11 am:

    market drugs edmonton

    Buy_now it…

  36. LESLIE said on 24 Oct 2011 at 8:37 pm:

    adrenal cancer symptoms

    Buy_generic drugs…

  37. GORDON said on 26 Oct 2011 at 12:56 am:

    indigestion and chest pain

    Buy_now it…

  38. ISAAC said on 26 Oct 2011 at 10:56 am:

    ultimate diet pills

    Buy_generic pills…

  39. KYLE said on 29 Oct 2011 at 9:29 pm:

    decongestants hypertension safe

    Buy_now it…

  40. JORDAN said on 31 Oct 2011 at 2:34 am:

    canine kidney failure symptoms

    Buy_generic pills…

  41. BRADLEY said on 1 Nov 2011 at 3:14 pm:

    insulin receptor inhibition

    Buy_without prescription…

  42. RICARDO said on 4 Nov 2011 at 4:04 am:

    sample tlc diets

    Buy_generic drugs…

  43. JORGE said on 5 Nov 2011 at 11:00 am:

    cancer chemotherapy combination drugs

    Buy_generic meds…

  44. THEODORE said on 6 Nov 2011 at 8:41 am:

    rebound phenomenon during gradual clonidine withdrawal

    Buy_drugs without prescription…

  45. BRADLEY said on 6 Nov 2011 at 3:20 pm:

    kids weight gain

    Buy_generic drugs…

  46. MICHAEL said on 7 Nov 2011 at 11:00 pm:

    100 mile diet store

    Buy_generic meds…

  47. NATHANIEL said on 8 Nov 2011 at 7:49 am:

    list of anti anxiety drugs

    Buy_generic meds…

  48. JIMMY said on 8 Nov 2011 at 2:54 pm:

    pain relief until root canal

    Buy_generic meds…

  49. ZACHARY said on 8 Nov 2011 at 9:33 pm:

    glucose to insulin ratio metabolic syndrome

    Buy_drugs without prescription…

  50. LUKE said on 10 Nov 2011 at 6:34 pm:

    interactions with azithromycin and astragalus

    Buy_it now…

  51. STEVE said on 12 Nov 2011 at 2:14 am:

    dog retching vomiting weight loss

    Buy_generic drugs…

  52. DEREK said on 12 Nov 2011 at 7:14 am:

    does hiv always lead to aids

    Buy_generic meds…

  53. DOUG said on 16 Nov 2011 at 1:12 pm:

    remeron dreams

    Buy_it now…

  54. JIM said on 17 Nov 2011 at 2:32 am:

    fruity taste and diabetes

    Buy_it now…

Comments are closed.